I am in love with British Airways. There’s no other way to say it. I’m obsessed (having signed up for a credit card with them to get more miles). I spend time thinking about them, and how to fly them next. It’s like the worst high-school crush ever, and all because of Club World.

Betty has already shared the virtues of flying when there are only four seats across the plane (thanks, Singapore Air!) But I had no idea how lovely flat seats could be when combined with British politeness until last month. And now there’s no going back–Club World has ruined me forever.

See those arrows above? The ones all the way to the left of the photo? They allow you to micro-adjust your seat. See the photo that looks like a flat line? That sends you into heaven. I was obsessed with these buttons, floating up out of sleep to make sure they were still there, and it wasn’t all a dream and I was secretly stuffed into coach.

Full show and tell after the jump!

See the footrest below? Yeah, that. And the pop-out television that you can also stow out of your way? And the lamp on the wall in front, to make the entire experience seem more civilized? And the plastic divider that makes your nearest seatmate seem like a fuzzy memory?

Obsessed. You can stow the footrest, of course. It’s also worth mentioning that British Airways keeps a stiff upper lip, and doesn’t pander with dumb stunts in the way that Virgin does (a.k.a. “in flight sexy texting“).

Combine all these amenities with British stewards coming by asking if you’d like to have your tea “topped up” (answer is always yes, by the way), and you’ll have a sense of why I am planning on flying them again this summer, even on my own dime.

And let’s not forget the lounges. At Heathrow Airport’s new Terminal 5, the Club World lounge was enormous. They had a full meal service as you first entered the lounge, but everywhere are snacks and treats tucked away in quiet oases.

Evidently, they also have free massages, although I arrived too late to take advantage.

Club World, will you marry me and make it official already?

P.S. In honor of the royal wedding extravaganza, I’ll be posting on everything London this week. Tally ho!

Marcel Wanders/KLM collaboration, via Design.NL

As a little pick-me-up, I bought a cheerful new MAC lipstick recently, designed by Dutch wonder-designer Marcel Wanders. I liked the look of the lipstick tube itself, which resembles a turned wooden leg of a table.

Which leads me to the pleasing setup above, also from Meneer Wanders–the business-class table setting of KLM. Evidently, this has been a project of his for some time. It’s lovely, with the so-Dutch-seeming scalloped edges that instantly remind you that you’re not on US Airways.

An excerpt from the interview with him:

This type of project has always been an interest for me. People think I just design sofas. But we did biodegradable sets a long time ago — the first for the airline industry. And some time ago, I made the lightest and best stackable cup in the world. It’s this kind of thing no one knows about. It’s invisible work. I don’t even have an image of this cup because it’s just a cup. But these ideas have been near to me all the time.

It’s very difficult. It’s a very technical project. But you have to make it so it doesn’t look technical, so it just feels like, ‘Wow, we’re in a nice restaurant.’ What we designed for them is something which is beautifully calm.

“Beautifully calm.” That is exactly the experience I want out of every flight. Exactly. Like the blissful ignorance that anyone else is staying in the same hotel as you are and extra space before boarding a flight, a beautifully calm flight experience is an unbelievable luxury, and I love that someone’s designing with that in mind.

Also, it’s great that the cutlery and plates themselves are so lightweight and therefore saving on fuel. So practische. (The way the press release is written is just so Dutch–proud of itself for being so efficient and clever, but trying not to seem that way.)

Not that I’ll ever likely wind up using it, since business-class seats are a squinch out of my price range, but I like knowing that it’s there. More of this kind of thing, please, airlines of the world.

I’m experiencing a grown-up version of that now, as this Friday will be my final day at my job. After that, I will have two free weeks before I launch into my next gig.

Photo credit: Todd Klassy

What to do? Where to go?

It’s kind of fun when you have zilcho time to plan for a holiday. While Lia has been working on her Dutch Princess School excursion for months now, I basically have a week or so to figure out if…and where…I’ll go.

I first called my frequent flier plans to see if I could cash in any of my miles at the last minute. I wasn’t that interested in flying within the US (prefer to use miles internationally or on swanky hotels state-side), or Latin America (too hot)…And I didn’t have enough for Asia. Only one plan was able to find a flight to Frankfurt, but nothing on the return. Boo.

I was relieved in a way.

Seattle is notorious for its “June Gloom.” It always rains on the 4th of July, and then, miraculously the week after, the region becomes this out-of-control-this-is-why-we-live-here type of paradise. Today it’s 80 degrees and sunny. Not an ounce of humidity.

So I think I’m going to stick around, but will take long weekend road trips. Right now, I’m considering one or more of the following:

• Methow Valley – Incredibly, I’ve never been here and I’ve lived in the Pac NW for a long time. It’s apparently a breathtaking valley with wonderful hiking on the east side of the Cascade Mountains.
• San Juan Islands -The long ferry lines can sometimes be a drag, but once you land, each island has its own magical character. I’ve been to the islands of San Juan and Orcas many times. Lopez Island is supposed to be fantastic for biking as it’s really flat.
• Vancouver Island – The novelty meter goes way up because you get to go across the border, and the majority of the island is a park. I’ve been to Victoria, BC, but never explored the island.
• Olympic Peninsula – It recently gained fame as the setting for the Twilight zeitgeist, but I’m not going to let that get in my way. Olympic National Park is one of my favorite parks.

Any other suggestions?

However, when I saw this on Virgin America’s Twitter feed, I was immediately annoyed.

Look, I can appreciate attempting to green your business. But flying isn’t green. At all.

It irritates me that Virgin is publicizing this. It’s like an oil company promoting itself as sustainable. Feels hollow these days, doesn’t it?

I would caution the airline on capitalizing too much on this newest ranking. Because this is essentially the definition of greenwashing.

The tweet does link to the piece which has this at the end (thank goodness):

No matter which way you cut it flying is a highly carbon intensive activity–though interestingly when TreeHugger compared different long distance travel methods, driving from New York to Los Angeles by yourself in a car getting average fuel economy was similar–the notion of a green airline when fossil fuels are involved is a bit of an oxymoron.

At this stage, the airline business cannot be green. Period.

Partly it’s because I was so ticked off with my fellow passengers on my last domestic flight–a.k.a. “the tragedy of the commons“–that I completely reversed my previously stated opinion about Spirit Airways charging for carry-on bags.

Only halfway through the flight and people were already storing their ginormous “carry-ons” fifteen rows back in order to save a nominal baggage-check fee? FAIL. It created utter chaos as rows and rows of people tried to work their way towards the back of the plane once we landed. Now I believe that either there should be no fees for either carrying on or checking bags–or fees for both–otherwise the airlines create financial incentives for insane, penny-pinching behavior.

But I digress.

Dickerson’s piece is a summary of all sorts of bad behavior from others all of us have experienced in the semi-anonymous, semi-intimate space that is the modern airline cabin and departure hall. I identify myself as the second personality type in his list, subbing in “ninja-like use of iPhone apps” for “travel agent or assistant”:

Outside Flight Ninja
Responds to a delay by immediately calling his or her travel agent or assistant and plotting routes around the problem. Is there a train station near by? What’s the drive time to the nearest airport, if I rent a car? These people walk away from other travelers so their solution won’t be copied. They know the tricks of the major airports and departure times of alternate flights by heart. Confession: I am this person. I once got home from a campaign stop in Vegas by flying around a storm in the Midwest by quickly rerouting myself through Houston, flying to Philadelphia, and taking the train to Washington, D.C.

Tedious Storytelling Flight Ninja
Similar to previous Flight Ninja but with detailed stories about how efficient he is in getting around travel delays.

I also enjoy his descriptions of other genus and species I’ve observed:

See Here Now! Man
A cousin of the fellow in the introduction of this story. He believes that the mechanical problem, personnel issue, or weather will be improved if he loudly proclaims his place in the universe.

And

The Hysterical
She’s been captured on film.

Regarding the Hysterical, I love two things about this crazy lady: 1) her commitment. Who hasn’t wanted to have a full-on tantrum at least once in their life? 2) That she inspired the disco remix of her tantrum, below.

Please be sure to read his entire piece. It’s quietly hilarious.

Dig this option from renown Hollywood designer Edith Head:

We love the Mad Men-era vibe of these photos, but you know Joan Holloway would have accessorized and cinched that getup with a belt.

I’ve flown Virgin and liked it very much compared with other airlines. Good in-flight entertainment, like the Johnny Depp Actors’ Studio on demand, shown above, that my seatmates and I liked. These days, it takes very little to keep me content.

But I’ve never been in a situation where potato chips and water were being rationed, as in this story today from New York Magazine and the New York Post:

During that fourteen-hour ordeal, the food slowly began to run out on the plane. (Presumably, the alcohol was all chugged by hour six.) By the end of it, flight attendants were doling out the last remaining snacks (Pringles, of course), giving each person a measly four potato chips. To add insult to injury, there was only a half-cup of water per person to wash down those salty, delicious pieces of fat and chemicals.

Johnny Depp himself would have to be working the aisle to make up for that mess. But not as Pirate Jack–that would get seriously old after 16 hours.