We hereby dedicate this entry to all the travel writers, travel-store owners, and advice hawkers who convince every traveler that they’ll barely survive their trips without a locking bag, money belt, and/or “slashproof” purse. In Paris.
Report: 10 Million Killed Annually By Stepping Out Of Comfort Zones
WASHINGTON—A new report published this week by the Department of Health and Human Services revealed that more than 10 million Americans are violently killed each year while attempting to break away from their regular everyday routines and try something new. “We found that getting out of your comfort zone and facing your fears resulted in premature death nearly 78 percent of the time,” HHS researcher Madeline Hersh said. “People always ask themselves, ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’ Well, according to our research, anything from being bitten by a poisonous snake to dying in a hot-air balloon crash can happen.” The report found that the safest individuals were those who surrendered to the soul-crushing monotony of habit and then convinced themselves that they had things pretty good.
This report is also dedicated to the two student-age dudes I saw on my last flight to Europe with their iPhones tucked into their neck pouches, causing their shirt to both bulge out awkwardly and poke them. For 10 hours. Europe is a scary place! Good all those travel professionals gave them such sage advice.
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