newelty

Hooray! My tax refund came yesterday, which means I’ll be booking my time at Dutch Princess School soon!

It’s probably worth explaining why on earth I’m going to spend thousands of dollars to get to fluency in Dutch. And most importantly–why Dutch? Literally every time I mention that I’m trying to learn Dutch, the person I’m talking to has a completely baffled look on their face. Why that language, of all things? I’ll tell you.

I am in love with the Netherlands. My time in the Netherlands made me rediscover my childhood love of biking, but more than that, I love the directness of the culture, how no-nonsense people are.

When I was researching the Netherlands guidebook for the Travel Company that Shall Not Be Named, I knew I could walk into any B&B and be in and out in five minutes, with very little back-and-forth. In comparison, the British (I also researched U.K. guides) are lovely, but seem ever-so-put-out if you don’t enjoy tea and a biscuit with them. In a series of 14-hour research days, the quick, efficient manner of the Dutch gradually endeared them to me.

Every time I travel somewhere, I try to learn at least a little of the language. What surprised me about Dutch–as opposed to German, French, and Spanish, all of which I’d tried in a passing way–was how charming the turns of phrases are. As someone who likes writing, I love words themselves.

For example, the word “schoon” means both clean and pretty. Being a tidy sort, I found that funny. The word for frog is “kikker,” because, you know, they kick. “Snoepgoed” is candy, but “snoep” also means candy, and “goed” equals good, so I always think of this as “candy good,” which any five-year-old would agree with.

The Pacific Ocean is the “Stille” Ocean, because it’s quiet and still, compared to the Atlantic. Previous to learning this word, I had never once thought of “Pacific” as an adjective. Have you?

I get the same pleasure out of studying Dutch that I think other people do when they complete the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle. It’s a mystery and a gift, to quote the poster above (which was pasted to a building in Amsterdam–mouse over the image to see the translation).

Here’s the thing about studying a language that not many other people in the world bother to study: The people whose language it is are amused, puzzled, and more often than not, delighted when you give it a go. It’s so much fun to be asking a stern Dutch old man something, switch to Dutch, and see his face soften. When I say I’m a novelty-seeker, I mean it–keep your French lessons.

Why I’m willing to spend so much money to go to school comes down to a life dream I have to be fluent, not just halting, in another language. I’ve never gotten there–and I don’t want to get stuck at the pigeon-language level I’m at now, even after three years of off-and-on study.

My goal to be fluent is why I found this Saturday Night Live sketch so funny. It’s a Law & Order sketch as if it was written by an elementary-school class studying Spanish. It’s not hilarious, but it is so true. I want to get beyond the “what time does the train come” / “do you have any pineapples” phase of learning a language.

If you’ve ever done a language immersion, I’d love to know about it: What you would have done differently? What you wouldn’t have missed out on for the world?